It took a while for me to realize that I forgive other people easier than I forgive myself. Our expectations of ourselves are usually so high that when we fall short of it, we question everything. It is easier to deal with it when someone else questions our ability than when the criticism comes from us. It’s kind of a tough love situation with one’s Self. You expect perfection from yourself while being considerate and accommodating of others.
Subconsciously pushing yourself harder while on a higher pedestal. You find it hard to accept your own mistakes because you believe you know better and should have done better. In truth, we all make mistakes and while being critical is good it shouldn’t be self-damaging. Understanding oneself and accepting to live by love is a process
A man who is not at peace with himself is like a man on a journey without a destination. You can barely achieve anything tangible especially when your sphere of positive influence is almost at zero level. Inner peace is golden no matter the aspect of life you view it from. I.e. work, spirituality, health, morality etc.
I have had a few situations where I just blame myself for certain things I did. I expect nothing but perfection from myself and that sometimes make me feel down when I am unable to do something well. While it is great to have high expectations of ourselves, it can be very detrimental to our self-esteem.
You need to think highly of yourself and be quick to forgive yourself when you fall short. It does not mean that you are bragging or celebrating your weaknesses, but it does mean that you are realistic with yourself.
We cannot make the required change by bringing ourselves down. We can only become better by accepting ourselves and then taking steps towards ensuring that we make changes where necessary. If God could love us while we were yet sinners, we should be able to love “us” too while we are taking steps at getting better. You should never detest yourself because it is by loving yourself you get the power to be transformed into a better version of who you are.
In most cases, people don’t change 100%. What we see often is people becoming better or learning new approaches to doing things. What we tend to do is to seek for the positive side of our attitude and maximize it. Where complete change is required, it usually takes a while. It is never an overnight thing. So we need to be patient with ourselves while we go through this process.
We can’t kill ourselves for not being able to provide for our family or parents enough. We can’t blame ourselves for not being a CEO at 25, or having kids at 28. We can’t blame ourselves for not being married or working at a multinational. We can’t keep blaming ourselves for all the things we haven’t accomplished. This is definitely not the way to go.
Yes, we have so many expectations and we might be barely scratching the surface, but what will get us where we want to be is not self-hate or disapproval, it is self-love and confidence in who m what we have.
While you may be able to avoid negative external forces, you will have yourself to deal with for the rest of your life. This is why it is also important to ensure that you do things that you can be proud of at all times.
Deal with your regrets and move on…
You won’t always be proud of everything you have ever done but you need to face that truth and love on. However, you won’t be able to move on when you keep doing the same thing lover and over. You will require determination to break away from bad habits that keep making you feel bad about yourself. That might be where the healing will come from for you. Overcoming a bad habit is self-empowering.
According to psychologist Marc Muchnick, when we face what torments us, we put a stop to our inner turmoil. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Come to terms with your feelings of regret and don’t beat yourself up over situations you can’t control. Make peace with yourself and set yourself free from the past.
If you are not at peace with God you cannot be at peace with yourself. Often times, we forget to look at things from God’s perspective. The work of the Holy Spirit is to teach us all things including our relationship with God and with others.
Most of the time we believe God is not happy with us. No. God does not work that way. He knows us inside out. When you disappoint or fail yourself, He understands and has provides another opportunity for you. He loves you unconditionally. Free your mind with the truth that God loves you even with your flaws. Examine David’s life as our example. Love God, love yourself, and love others.
The truth is none of us can attain perfection and no man is so good that they cannot fall. The Bible says the righteous man falls 7 times and gets back up again. Jesus also taught us that no man is good or perfect but God (Mark 10:18)
Know this that your imperfections make you better and stronger. All the giants and heroes of the past and even today have all been through this so this does not determine your end. You will get there in good time and by God’s endless grace.
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